The False Exit Read online

  “I know,” Liz said.

  “I saw that attraction between you and the music man. It’s a powerful one. I didn’t think you had the opportunity to spend enough time figuring it out. He still has a spell on you, little girl.”

  “Oh my God Gammy, how do you know me so well? I can’t get Mark out of my head and I got mad at Gary tonight because another girl was flirting with him. I was jealous. Doesn’t that mean something?”

  “It means you were jealous. So what? That’s natural.”

  “How could I be jealous and kind of glad that he is mad at me at the same time?”

  “Well, there it is; that is the kind of stuff that keeps those love Angels glued to the movie screens of our lives. Who knows?” She shifted in her seat and added, “I got questions too. Why do I hate that Clifford keeps telling me that Jesus told him to marry me? At the same time, I secretly love it. What if we are a match made in heaven? According to Clifford, it wouldn’t just be like another beautiful saying from a Hallmark card. It would be a fact. Yet, something about the way that man is so darn overconfident is making me angry. I didn’t step into any of this to get married! That’s never been my intention!”

  “You did look awful sweet sitting next to him on that porch swing tonight,” Liz said.

  “Is that so? It’s all good until he starts with the marriage stuff. He makes me a wreck. I keep dropping things. I can’t think straight. I keep forgetting things. I don’t like to feel pressured!”

  “So, the love Angels are laughing at your romance movie, too?”

  “Yep, it’s becoming quite the comedy. Yesterday, I almost put the frozen yogurt in the cupboard and the coffee cups in the freezer.”

  “What are we going to do? What am I supposed to do? What are you going to do?” Liz asked. All three questions tripped out of her mouth without stumbling.

  Mary laughed. “It’s too bad that we can’t jump up there and take a seat next to those Angels. If we could figure out what they’re laughing at, we might not act so foolish. Maybe we should hit the pause button. Get some distance from it all. We might discover what they’re up to if we take a little break.”

  “Take a break? Are you going to take a break from Clifford?” she asked.

  “Yes, I think so. I want to see if I can get some perspective.”

  “I like it. I think that is a good idea. I need to take a break too.”

  “Sometimes we get too caught up and we can’t see things clearly,” Mary explained.

  “Right,” Liz said, “I’m definitely not seeing clearly.”

  Liz pulled into her grandmother’s driveway. “So, am I picking you up in the morning?”

  “Not tomorrow. Tomorrow, I’m taking a break.”

  “Me too,” Liz said. “I am going to tell Gary that I need a break.”

  “Good girl,” Mary said. “What about Mark?”

  “I won’t have to say anything to him. He has his eye on another girl.”

  “He still has his eye on you too, doesn’t he?”

  “He does,” Liz said. “But I can hold him off because he’s with someone. I need to figure out what is going on with Gary.”

  “If you say so. Good night, Pumpkin,” Mary said as she climbed out of the car.

  “Good night, Gammy!”

  43

  “Your phone is out here buzzing like a sick bird, Anna!” Claire called from the living room.

  Anna Marie emerged from the bedroom. “Oh my Gosh, what time is it?”

  “It is already eleven.”

  “Eleven? I never sleep that late.”

  “You know wine does that to you.”

  “I only had two glasses,” Anna Marie insisted.

  “It’s your poison, Sister. You probably shouldn’t drink it at all. I‘ve never seen wine affect a woman like it does you.”

  “I’ve never seen men affect a woman like they do you.”

  “I guess we all have our poison,” Claire said.

  “Where is my phone?”

  “It is over here on the table.”

  She picked it up. “Oh Lord, Bill.”

  “He is probably hating himself for rejecting you,” Claire said.

  “I hope so,” she started to call him back.

  “What are you doing? Don’t call him? Make him suffer!”

  “He’s been calling all morning.”

  “If a man rejected me like that, I don’t know that he would ever get a call back. He sure as heck wouldn’t get a call from me before noon!”

  “Listen, Sister, I love you to death. One thing I’m not going to do today is take relationship advice from you.”

  “Come on now. You know that we’re both masters at advice with men! We can run everyone else’s lives perfectly. We just can’t run our own!”

  “You called,” Anna Marie said when Bill answered. She turned her back on Claire and stepped into her room.

  “I’m sorry that I called so many times. We need to talk,” he said.

  “I’m listening,” she said coldly.

  “I’m not talking about last night. I don’t want to talk about that. I’m talking about Diane. She’s going to be in recovery for a long time. She messed up her back pretty bad. The board will obviously give her all the time she needs, but I really don’t think she will come back at all. Either way, we need somebody immediately. They’ve asked me to call you. They want you to finish directing the show and pick up as much of the administrative work as you can. They understand your situation and are supportive. They’re even willing to bring you on part time if you like. Everyone would love to have you back.”

  “Oh gosh,” she said.

  “I know,” he said. “I’m sorry but, you have to make a quick decision.”

  “Wow, I can’t believe this has happened.”

  “I’m sort of numb, myself. I’m feeling weird and oddly responsible.”

  “Really? You weren’t even there when she fell. Were you?”

  “No, I wasn’t. I feel like I cursed the poor woman though.”

  “Bill, come on. I know you don’t believe in any of that.”

  “I don’t, but I did tell Clifford he could tell Kevin he had my permission to chase Diane out. That’s something I wish I hadn’t said out loud!”

  “She fell backwards off the stage. It isn’t like that hasn’t happened to directors before. Everyone knows that you have to be careful about directing from the front of the stage.”

  “I know. I just wish I hadn’t said it.”

  “What makes you think she won’t come back?”

  “I just don’t think she will,” he said. “I don’t think she’ll want to. Either way, the job is open for now. I have a good idea that if she does come back the board will find a way to keep you. Everyone misses you here. I miss working with you!”

  “I don’t know, Bill.”

  “You’ll be able to show immediate proof of income and it will help with your employment history. You’ll be able get Annie immediately. Even if you don’t stay in the job, by the time Diane is better, the investigation of Kevin’s money will probably be complete and you can quit if you want to.”

  “You’re right. I hadn’t thought of that.”

  “I wasn’t going to tell you this, but Clifford has been begging me to tell you that Kevin has been warning him about his daughter. He says he wants you to hurry up and get Annie out of the house she’s living in. He’s been telling him that little Annie is in danger.”

  “Bill! Why didn’t you tell me that?”

  “I didn’t think you needed to hear it. What good would it do? You’ve been doing the best you can. It isn’t like you could change anything to make it happen faster. Now you can!”

  “Wait, do you believe that he’s really seeing Kevin and getting messages from him?”

  “No. I do not,” he said.

  “So, why are you telling me this now? You didn’t say anything before?” She heard him sigh into the phone. “Are you using that to manipulate my decision?”<
br />
  “Please don’t! You’ve been putting enough pressure on yourself. You didn’t need to hear any of that nonsense before.”

  “Yes, but you said it, now!” she insisted. “You’re suddenly saying it now that you want me to take the job.”

  “It simply has gotten to the point that I didn’t want to be accused of not telling you. You know I don’t believe any of that crap that Clifford is saying. I’m trying so hard to put what is best for you and everything that you need ahead of my own selfish desires. It’s what I do, Anna. I think I have a pretty good track record of that!” He was quiet for a moment. “If you don’t come back to work, I’ll totally understand and support your decision.”

  “What are you saying? You don’t want me to come back?”

  “Anna! Do you even hear yourself?” He moaned with frustration. “I didn’t say anything like that. All that I’m saying is that I want to support you and whatever it is that you need.” He waited in the silence.

  “You’ve seen me panic. I don’t know if I can do it. Do you think I can handle it?”

  “I do. I think you can. But, I don’t really know for sure. Only you know what is best for you.” He let out an almost inaudible, “I don’t know, maybe Kevin knows too.”

  It didn’t slip past her. “What?”

  “Never mind.”

  “Why did you say that?”

  “Never mind. Just forget it.”

  “Why would you say that Kevin knows?” She waited for an answer but found it in her own thoughts. “This whole thing is about Kevin; isn’t it? You sent me home last night because of Kevin? Are you jealous of him?”

  Bill hesitated to answer. “I didn’t call to talk about last night. I called to talk about the job.”

  “How can you be jealous of Kevin? Kevin is dead.”

  “Is he dead, Anna? Is he? It doesn’t feel like it. It feels like he’s still very much alive and I hate to say it, but it feels like he is still—” Bill paused.

  “Still what?”

  “—still making an impact, running the show! I don’t know. I know that I can’t make it happen and neither can you. I know I can’t put a stamp on how much time it will take. None of that matters right now. Right now, you need to think about taking the job. One step at a time, Anna Marie! One step at a time. They’d like you to step in here as soon as tonight. That is a pretty big step, so let’s just concentrate on that right now and forget about us.”

  “Tonight, really?”

  “Why not? We’re in the middle of rehearsals. What would the point of waiting until tomorrow, or the next day, or next week, or a year from now be? If you are going to do it, I think it’s best that you just jump in. Think about it and give me a call later.”

  “Okay,” was all she said.

  “Anna—” he paused.

  “Yes?”

  “Whatever you decide, make sure that it’s what’s best for you. Figure out what you want. What is it that you need?”

  She sat on the bed in the quiet of the room for a moment. Why did he say that? What is best for me? What is best for me is what is best for Annie. What I need is to get Annie. That’s all there was to it. She walked back out to Claire.

  “How did it go?” Claire asked.

  “I just got offered my old job back.”

  “Really, are you going to take it?”

  “I am,” she said, “I am.”

  “Are you sure you’re ready?” Claire asked.

  “No. I’m positive that I’m not ready. But, I’m confident that I’m ready to get that little girl out of that house! I’ll do whatever it takes to have her here with me, Claire.”

  “Then congratulations!” she said. She watched Anna Marie’s face change. “What’s wrong?”

  “Why am I doing this?” Anna Marie asked.

  “What? Taking the job?”

  “Taking the child. Is it because I feel like I still have to fix things for Kevin? Oh my gosh, Claire! Am I desperately trying to get her out of guilt? Is it because I feel responsible for what has happened to her? What am I doing?”

  "What are you saying? Have you forgotten how upset you were the whole time you were in Florida with me? You didn’t sleep at night. All you did was worry about that little girl!”

  “Yes, I worried over her like crazy, but why exactly?”

  “You met the child. You felt a connection to her; right? That connection is real; isn’t it?”

  “It is! It is very real.”

  “Okay, so picture yourself in the future; say five or six years from now. You left the girl where she is. You walked away from the whole idea of it all,” she paused. “Do you see it? You’re not with the child. How do you feel? Do you feel free and happy? Are you relieved?”

  “No! I feel terrible. I feel empty. I feel like I’ve made a horrible mistake!”

  “Okay try this, you see her in the future. She is happy and healthy because she was in the perfect foster home. She didn’t grow up with you but is loved in a happy home. How do you feel?”

  “Even if I was one hundred percent sure that she was happy and healthy with another family?”

  “Yes, how would you feel?” Claire asked.

  “I would feel like I missed out on an opportunity to have her in my life. I want her with me. I do know what I want! I want to be part of her life.”

  “Why?”

  “Because, I have a chance to have a child in my life. I have an opportunity to really experience the love of a child. A really awesome child!”

  “So, you’re doing what you want.”

  “I am. I’m doing this because it is what I want and what I need. I’m not punishing myself for Kevin’s mistakes or anyone else. I want to mother this child as long as I’m able to.”

  “When do you start the job?”

  “In about four hours!”

  “Okay! Wow! Well, now is as good a time as any to tell you that when I sent Jonny home yesterday, I made him pay for me to change my flight. I canceled all my appointments. I will be here the rest of the week. I wanted to help you finish getting the house ready.”

  “Really,” Anna Marie said, “that is great!”

  “It’s what I should have been doing in the first place.”

  “It is,” Anna Marie said.

  “I’m sorry. I’m working on it.”

  Anna Marie grinned at her sister. “I love you, Claire. You’re forever a work in progress, and I love you.”

  “You’re a work in progress,” Claire said.

  “Yes, I am, but your construction zone is much larger and a lot more dangerous!” Anna Marie teased.

  “I’m not going to argue that. I’m just going to own it.”

  “I can’t believe it, I have rehearsal in four hours.” Anna Marie threw herself on the couch.

  “How does that feel?” Claire plopped down next to her.

  “Actually—” she paused, “Exciting, really exciting!”

  “Anna, have you thought about what you are going to do with that little girl while you’re working? How is that going to work?”

  “First you sounded like a shrink, now you sound like a social worker, Claire.”

  “Sorry, I have to ask.”

  “I think I’ll ask my sister to move here and be my Nanny.”

  “Hmmm.”

  “Hmmm?” Anna Marie’s eyes got wide. “I was throwing that out there like a bad joke. I had no intention of it landing!”

  “It actually doesn’t sound too terrible.”

  “Claire, seriously?”

  “You might be able to help me work on my addiction to beautiful men,” she said with a hint of sarcasm. “But, I don’t know, I’m such a Florida girl. You better keep working on a backup plan,” she added.

  “Don’t tease me like that, Claire.”

  “I’m not teasing, I just don’t think I should have opened my big mouth about something that is still in a space in the back of my mind. I’d have to really think about it.”

  “I can’t
believe you are even thinking about it. It would be a dream! Please, say you will!”

  “I shouldn’t have said anything. Don’t get any big ideas. I don’t want to disappoint you. I’ve done enough of that already!

  44

  Liz headed to the theatre early so she could clear her schedule to meet with Mark for the voice lesson he’d requested. She wasn’t looking forward to seeing Mark. She wasn’t looking forward to seeing anyone. She’d considered calling in sick and spending the day in her pajamas. When she pulled into the parking lot, Gary was walking up to the building. He looked over his shoulder and kept walking. She was tempted to circle her car around and go back to her original plan for the day. They hadn’t spoken since she drove off. She pulled in to her parking space and threw the car into park with a strong determination to face the day without guilt. After all, she wasn’t alone in the blame. Jenna was clearly chasing after Gary and he was enjoying it. Mark was aggressively pursuing her and she was also enjoying it.

  It didn’t matter who was at fault. Nothing felt right. She was glad Gary was still sulking. She wasn’t ready to deal with him, anyhow. She wasn’t ready to deal with Mark either. She would have to face it all head-on and with an intense layer of professionalism. The situation wasn’t one she wanted to affect her work day.

  She spent most of the morning on the computer designing the summer camp program. By the time she set out to meet Mark in the theatre, she had a headache. She’d only eaten a banana for breakfast. Her typically optimistic nature was shaken to the core. Mark looked up from behind the piano and flipped his hair away from his eyes.

  “Good morning, Sunshine,” he said.

  “Hey,” she replied.

  Mark immediately recognized her disposition. “You’re definitely missing something this morning.”

  “My brain?” she asked with a sigh.

  “Where’s your joy?” he asked.

  The question stung her. Where was her joy? She thought of her grandmother’s words. ‘Never let anyone take your joy; especially a man’. Her joy was gone and two different men had it. The realization made her feel worse. She glared at Mark.

  “Wow, I think I recognize that face. Trouble in Paradise?”