The False Exit Page 15

  “I’ve hung out with more girls than guys. It just went that way.”

  “What way? Shayla says all those guys are in love with you. Is there something you are not telling me?” she teased.

  “Believe me, I’m not gay. I’m deeply reminded of that every time you walk into the room,” he laughed.

  “Every time?” she asked.

  “Every time!” He redirected the conversation, “You don’t play the game because you don’t have to. You have that effect on men. Shayla has to play! She has probably had to play her whole life just to gain any attention. Ask me how I know.”

  “How do you know?” she asked.

  “I’m the male version. I never draw any attention. The difference between me and Shayla is that I don’t care. I think girls struggle with that more. I just take my place and that is that. It’s also why I’m lucky to have you. Mark is more like you. He doesn’t have to play. He naturally draws all the attention away from guys like me.”

  “Gary, you are crazy,” Liz said.

  “If you say so luv,” he slipped back to the accent and winked at her.

  Liz watched Shayla swing her hips as she crossed back to the table. Gary was right. Shayla played the game and she was good at it. She glanced back at Mark. He was undoubtedly working the crowd around him too. Mark didn’t have to play the game; he just seemed to enjoy it.

  29

  Bill called Anna Marie as he was leaving the rehearsal.

  “Hello,” she answered.

  “You sound tired.”

  “You know by my, ‘hello’?” she asked.

  “I do,” he said.

  “I’m exhausted, but I got a lot done!”

  “Good for you! Did you finish your book?”

  “Very funny!” she said, “I wonder that I’ll ever start my book. I’m going to need to do something soon, though. I can’t just sit here cleaning up Kevin’s mess forever! I’m also going to need to start showing some income. I don’t know what I’m going to do!”

  “Hey, slow down, Sport. I didn’t call you to stress you out.”

  “What are you talking about, I’ve lived in a constant state of stress since the day I read that letter exposing Kevin’s secret life. I don’t know what I am doing, Bill.”

  “You’re giving yourself time, that is what you’re doing,” he said. “All you have done is ask me to give you time, don’t you hear yourself?”

  “I do. I also hear the voice in my head screaming at me constantly. I’ve got to get going on something. What am I going to do without a job?”

  “Okay, slow down, you just found several thousand dollars in the closet. That’s a win. How about you celebrate that before you start to worry again. You can’t expect change to happen in a minute. You know what they say, the slower the change the more beautiful the results!”

  “You’re beautiful,” she laughed.

  “I didn’t even put on any makeup or comb my hair today,” he teased.

  “Silly!” she said.

  “You’re silly. Just try not to get so busy changing your world that you forget to enjoy the day. When the sun sets at night, you can never get that day back.”

  “How did you get to be so wise, Bill?”

  “I hung around this really cool lady for a lot of years. Everything I’m saying is straight out of her book of wisdom. She just hasn’t written it yet.”

  “Really, am I wise? If that is the case, how is it that I’m completely lost? I just hear that voice screaming at me to figure it out! I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

  “Your world has changed, but you are the same strong and beautiful woman that you’ve always been. That voice that screams in your head—it’s not your voice. I’ve never known you to scream. It is the voice of panic. Once you slow down, I bet you will find yourself right there; waiting.”

  “Wow!” She paused and thought for a moment. “You're right, my mind goes a hundred miles a minute lately!”

  “Sure, you’re trying to fix your world and that little girl’s world in a day. It’s going to be a process. It is going to take some time,” he said. “I’m struggling with that one too.”

  “What one?” she asked.

  “Time,” he said.

  “Oh, right,” she let out an uncomfortable sigh.

  “We can do this,” he said. “I see it like a forest after a fire. It looks horrific, but all the ugly black soot of a fire actually makes incredibly rich soil. The seedlings that eventually sprout will be green, rich, beautiful and healthier than you could ever imagine. But, they don’t sprout immediately and they don’t grow to the sky overnight. It all takes time. Your world is going to come back to you so rich and beautiful. You’re going to know love and life like you have never known it before.”

  “God, I hope you are right, Bill.”

  “I am. I can see it clearly from here. It’s always easier to see it when you are looking at it from the outside.”

  “I think you are in the wrong profession. You should be a shrink, a life coach, or something like that. You just gave me a spoonful of peace, and I haven’t tasted that in a long time. I might even be able to sleep tonight.”

  “Good! Would you like company?” There was a pause. “Anna Marie, I’m only teasing you. I will allow you room to grow again. No matter how much time it takes. The teases are just to remind you that I’ll still be here when you’re ready. I also want you to know that you are so very desirable. Kevin was a fool!”

  “Thank you, Bill,” her voice broke. “I don’t deserve you.”

  “You deserve whatever makes you happy. I can only hope I will be part of the recipe. If not, I’ll be happy to have been there to stir the pot once in a while.” He changed the subject, “So, what did you get done today?”

  “Lots! I got extremely motivated! My sister called and she is coming to visit.”

  “Claire is coming? That is great!”

  “Yes. At first I thought it would be nice to have her come so that she could help me clean out the spare room. After I hung up, I thought it would be nice to have the spare room cleaned out by the time she gets here. I went kind of crazy today and got it all done!”

  “Good for you!”

  “When she gets here she can help me figure out how to put it together for Annie. She is brilliant at that. Besides, decorating is so much more fun than dumping, right?”

  “I suppose so. I’m really glad she is coming. That will be nice for you both.”

  “Yes, I need her!”

  “I understand. Try to get some rest. Don’t overdo it.”

  “Too late,” she giggled, “but I’m done for today.”

  Bill hung up and headed to the store. He remembered that Clifford would be home from the hospital. He wanted to stop and pick up a few things for him.

  30

  Clifford slept most of the day and Mary spent the time rearranging, organizing, cooking and cleaning his kitchen. She used her phone to look up ways to reinvent her favorite recipes with low cholesterol ingredients. She was wiping down a counter when her towel slipped and knocked the phone off of it. Panic rushed through her as she watched it bounce to the floor. Liz had just helped her replace a cracked screen less than a month ago. She watched in disbelief as it hit the floor. It was almost as if it flipped in slow motion and unnaturally landed on the backside instead the exposed screen. She sighed with relief as she lifted it from the tile floor unharmed. Clifford stepped out of the bedroom and peered into the kitchen.

  “Now that smells like real food. Nothing like sleeping in my own bed and waking up to the smell of good cooking!”

  “Well, welcome back!” Mary said as she pulled the casserole out of the oven. “No more hospital food for you! Did you have a nice nap?”

  “I don’t think you could hardly call what I had a nap. I slept like a bear! I’m sorry that I wasn’t very good company.”

  “Oh, don’t be silly!” Mary said. “I didn’t come here to be entertained. I came here to make sure your first
day home was smooth and that you had something you could eat! I hope you don’t mind, I’ve been doing a little re-arranging and cleaning up. I took it upon myself to get rid of a few things in the refrigerator that looked like they needed to go. I wiped down a few things too.”

  “Mind? No, I don’t mind. This poor kitchen hasn’t had a woman in it in years.” Clifford looked at the table. It was cleared and set. “Wow, you really found your way around the place. It looks nice! You can come visit me and my kitchen anytime. Thank you!”

  “My pleasure,” she said. “I enjoy taking care of you.”

  “Good, you can take care of me the rest of my life,” he joked.

  Mary felt a wave of panic. “I’m still taking care of Liz!” The words tumbled out of her mouth before she had a chance to discover them. What did that even mean? Was she still taking care of Liz? Liz was a grown woman. Of course she was. She’d put every ounce of her being into making sure Liz was okay since the day her daughter had passed. She would continue to do so until the day she died. Mary didn’t want her granddaughter to ever feel the void of not having someone to mother her. Her expression exposed her thoughts.

  “You are very endeared to Liz, aren’t you?” he said.

  “She means the world to me!”

  “I’m sure your daughter is very happy with how close you and Liz are. I know that she is grateful that you have each other.”

  “Cliff?” Mary chose her words carefully, “is that you saying that? My daughter isn’t talking to you—is she?”

  “It is all me. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to give the wrong impression. Kevin tells me things, but I can’t summon people up. I can try to ask him about your daughter, if you want me to.”

  “No,” Mary said, “I don’t need anything. I know she’s at peace. Honestly, I wish you would have left Kevin at the hospital.”

  “I keep trying to tell you, it doesn’t work like that. He doesn’t bother me though,” Cliff said. “I don’t think he will be around much longer anyhow.”

  “I hope not. When you visit your Doctor next week, I don’t want them sending you back for that CAT scan. You don’t need any of that. You just need Kevin to move on.”

  “I’m not worried about Kevin. I’m more worried about that hospital. I don’t know if they’re ever going to let any of us back in there. I’m not sure what kind of a document I signed,” he said with a chuckle.

  “Oh, Elsie and her darn purse! I can’t believe that woman left her purse. If we hadn’t had to pull back around, the discharge nurse wouldn’t have found you.”

  “I couldn’t believe she climbed right into the car and made me sign those papers.”

  “You know, you didn’t have to sign the papers.”

  “She was sitting on Kevin. It all just looked so weird to me!”

  “She was sitting on Kevin? You could see that?”

  “I sure could. Kevin was—let’s just say he was being ornery about it. It’s hard to describe, but I saw it. It was alarming and kind of funny at the same time! I just wanted to get her out of the car as fast as possible. I think she knew it too!”

  Mary paused. “Clifford, is Kevin here now?”

  “Yes, he is.”

  “What does he do? I mean, what has he been doing all this time—since I got here?”

  “Well, I don’t really know, Mary. I was sleeping most of the day. When I woke up and came out here, he was just sitting there on the couch.”

  “On the couch?” Mary looked at the couch. “Is he there now?”

  “No, he is wandering about the room. He usually hangs out in the corner over there.”

  “Is he talking to you?”

  “No, I don’t really hear him, unless I tune in to him.”

  Mary thought hard. “Why don’t you tune in to him and ask him to leave?"

  “That is what I keep trying to explain to you. He can’t go because he has unfinished business.”

  “With you?”

  “No, not with me. Not at all. We’ve worked through things. I have no hard feelings against the man.”

  “So why doesn’t he leave you alone and go haunt the people he has unfinished business with?”

  “He says he is hanging out with me because I can see and hear him. I guess we’re connected somehow.”

  “I certainly haven’t heard good things about the man! Maybe it isn’t such a good idea to be connected with him.”

  “Souls look very different on the other side. Death brings a humility that is beyond understanding. He did some stupid things, but he isn’t so bad.”

  “I see,” Mary said. “You seem to be taking this all so naturally. You do understand that what you are saying and seeing is very—” she paused in order to choose her words carefully, “—unusual? Yet, you are so casual about it. I think that is why the doctors are worried about you. It isn’t normal every day behavior to communicate with someone that has passed. I think most people would be a little worried about their state of mind.”

  “Are you worried about my state of mind?”

  “Well, I am; a little. Only because you’re not worried at all.”

  “I see,” he said. “I don’t want you to be worried. Kevin doesn’t want you to worry either. He doesn’t want anyone to worry. He just wants to be able to move on. If I can help him, I think I should. Do you understand?”

  “You don’t seem to doubt yourself. I’m trying to understand,” she said.

  “I hear that tone of doubt,” he said.

  “You have to realize what people think. They will start to worry that you’re losing your mind.”

  “It really doesn’t matter what people think. It doesn’t change anything for me. I see what I see. I hear what I hear.”

  Mary kept trying, “People will worry about you because they can’t see what you see or hear what you hear. So they think you’re imagining things.”

  “Why? It’s not that unusual. People talk to other people’s dead relatives and they put them on television shows nowadays. Haven’t you seen any of those shows? It’s not like I’m the first person this has happened to. I’m not at all worried about my mind. I wish you wouldn’t be either.”

  “Fair enough,” Mary said. “I’ll try not to worry about your mind. I’ll worry about your stomach for now. You just worry about getting plenty of rest. You have to take it easy for several more days!” She placed the casserole dish on the table. “Deal?” she asked.

  “Deal!” Clifford said as he pulled out a chair. “It looks amazing!”

  “It’s a chicken deluxe casserole, but I didn’t use butter! I’ve been looking up recipes and substitutions for the high cholesterol ingredients on my phone!”

  “Yes, you have! Kevin says he saw you looking on your phone. He caught it for you so you wouldn’t crack your screen when you dropped it.”

  The blood rushed away from Mary’s cheeks. “He what?”

  “He caught your phone for you, or at least he says he gave it a soft landing when you knocked it off the counter with the towel. See he’s not so bad,” Clifford grinned.

  “Oh my!” she paused and looked around the room. “Ok, well, I guess the third times a charm! First the pie, then the stuff you said to Nurse Stan and now this. I’m sorry, Clifford, it has taken me so long to really grasp all of this. I mean I believed you and all, but he is here; isn’t he? I mean, I knew he was with you, but he is literally right here in this house.”

  Clifford answered with a simple raised eyebrow.

  “Okay, well my goodness.”

  “Are you okay, Mary? You look a little pale.”

  “Yes,” she stuttered, “yes, yes. I’m just fine. She thought for a moment. “Oh my, oh my goodness! We do have to help him! He needs to move on. So what can we do? What does he need us to do? We have to help him, don’t we? What do we need to do?”

  “How about we start after we eat,” Clifford said.

  “Yes, after dinner!”

  Mary packed hot casserole onto Clifford’s plate. Her
eyes continued to dart about the room.

  “Relax, Mary,” Clifford said, “relax and enjoy your dinner.

  When they finished eating, Mary cleared the table and Clifford moved to his favorite chair next to the television. Mary sat on the sofa. She stared out into space and spoke clearly, “Okay, Kevin, what is it? Why are you bothering us?”

  “Us?” Clifford asked.

  “He is bothering you, and I am here with you, so he is bothering me. That equals us,” she said.

  “He isn’t bothering me,” Clifford declared.

  “He is showing up in your home and interrupting your conversations!”

  “I don’t mind,” Clifford said. He looked to the corner of the room and shrugged.

  “You know what I mean. Stop being difficult!” Mary demanded. Clifford grinned at her nervous energy. “In the sweet and holy name of Jesus and only in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, tell us what we need to know to help you,” Mary said in to the air.

  “I already know the answer to that. He needs to get little Annie out of that house. He wants her to be with Anna Marie.”

  “Little Annie? That is his daughter, right?” Mary asked.

  “Yes, he wants his daughter to be with Anna Marie. He also wants her to be with Darcie.”

  “Darcie is in prison!” Mary said. “How can that be?”

  “I don’t know,” Clifford said, “I’m just the messenger.”

  “Well, ask him!” Mary insisted.

  “I would,” Clifford said calmly, “but he left.”

  “He left? Where did he go?”

  “I don’t know,” Clifford said.

  “What do you mean you don’t know? You were just talking to him and he left?”

  “Yup!”

  “How does that work?” she asked.

  “I have no idea. I was only on the other side for a short period of time. I certainly don’t have it all figured out. Sometimes he is here, and then he is gone.”

  “So now what, we tell Anna Marie to get the little girl out of that house? That is it? That is all he says and poof he is gone?”

  “Gone for now.”

  “Okay,” Mary said. “I guess I can work with that.” Mary’s cell phone rang. She leaped and Clifford laughed.